People and Possessions (Blog #509)

Last night I worked until three in the morning helping my friends pack for their upcoming move, then came home and went for a mile-and-a-half run. It’s weird how you can be absolutely exhausted and still feel like you’ve got to burn off some energy. Anyway, I went to bed about four-thirty, slept for four hours, then woke up to meet my friends at ten. (The movers came this morning to evaluate our progress, since the big “load up” is later this week.) And whereas the movers said we packed the dishes wrong (we stacked them like you would in a cabinet , on their bottoms, instead of on their apparently sturdier sides), they said we pretty much had it licked and that they could prepare the rest (furniture, lamps, etc.) on the day of the move.

Phew.

Running strictly on willpower and caffeine, my friends and I spent the rest of the morning and all afternoon finishing up. As we’ve been working in their bedroom and therefore dealing with their personal things, I’ve spent most the day looking under and behind furniture for lost whatevers, taking items to be donated, and hauling trash to the dump. (I snagged the sweet red bandana in today’s selfie from the giveaway pile.) This really is a fascinating gig, seeing what people choose to hang on to and choose to let go of. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure and all that. Of course, having been through this process, I get it. Possessions are personal.

Until they’re not anymore.

By far, the SWEETEST thing I’ve come across in over two weeks of helping my friends pack, I found this morning. Check it out. It’s an honest-to-god Jazzercise record that promises to condition your body, lift your spirits, and put a smile on your face and a bounce in your step!–pretty much everything except send you to heaven. Plus, it says it’s a “wild and woolly” workout. Talk about exciting!

That being said, “woolly” and workout are two words I would never use together if I were trying to promise someone a good time. But then again, I’m not into bears. (Extremely hairy gay men are called “bears,” Mom. Slightly hair gay men–now that we’re talking about it–are called “otters.”)

“The more you know.”

Now it’s nine in the evening, and I’m barely holding my head up. I’m still at my friends’ house working, although I’ve obviously taken a break to blog. I know I’ve been saying it for the last week, but we really are almost done. I think all that’s left to pack is their toiletries (probably not a job for me), then all the tape, tape guns, and magic markers we’ve been using TO pack and label everything.

(Oh shit–I just realized–however will we seal up and label THAT box!?)

For me, today has been bittersweet. On one hand, I’m happy this huge project is coming to a close. It’s been tough stuff, and my body is tired. But on the other hand, it’s been good–fun–working and being around my friends. Having spent most of my adult life working alone, I’ve really enjoyed laughing “on the job” and eating lunches WITH other people. Mostly, I’m simply grateful. These friends of mine started off as dance students. Some random day they wandered into my studio, and we’ve been in and out of each others’ lives ever since. I don’t know. I guess a part of me wants to hang on. But, of course, people and possessions have this one thing in common–

You can’t hang on to them forever.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

"That love inside that shows up as joy or enthusiasm is your authentic self."

On Slowing Down (Blog #507)

Yesterday I woke up with a belly ache. This has been happening on-and-off for a couple of weeks now is not AWFUL but is not fun either. It feels like a dull number two pencil has been shoved into my guts. Again, it doesn’t feel like a machete or even a pocket knife, but still–no matter what else I’m doing–it keeps my attention. Anyway, I’m doing the best I can. This morning I ate burnt toast, yogurt, applesauce, and a banana for breakfast while sipping Ginger Ale. Now I’ve moved on to herbal tea and have over-the-counter drugs waiting at the ready.

I’m really close to pulling the trigger.

Actually, I tried some drugs yesterday. Pepto Bismol (Pept Abysmal) tablets, then Zantac. I didn’t notice a difference. Last week I went running to release pent-up aggression, and that seemed to help as much as anything. But I haven’t had a lot of time for running lately, as I’ve been working my tail off helping some friends pack for an upcoming move. Plus, it’s been thunderstorm-ing all week. Anyway, I’m taking it one day at a time, Sweet Jesus.

Yesterday my friends and I started packing at six in the evening and worked for twelve hours straight. The sun was coming up as I drove home this morning. Ugh. My my schedule is so turned around lately. Right now it’s four in the afternoon, and I feel like it’s ten in the morning. Oh well–we’re getting a lot done. That’s what matters. We’re almost there. And whereas I could go the rest of my life without seeing a cardboard box or hearing the sound of a tape gun rip-rip-ripping, we really are having a good time. We laugh a lot. That’s important too. Even when my friends are working in other rooms, I manage to entertain myself somehow. Usually by drawing on their boxes.

Here’s a little cartoon I came up with last night in their laundry room–

But this was my favorite, which I drew on top of a crummy piece of furniture, also found in their laundry room. “Is this keep or trash?” I said. “Trash,” they said.

Okay, I’ve got about an hour before I got back to work again, and I’d like to clean up, maybe read a chapter in a book I picked up this week at the library. I’m learning that this is really important, to slow down and not work-work-work non-stop. Last night about hour nine, around three in the morning, I sat down on the couch and just piddled with my phone for five minutes. Take a damn break, Marcus. So although it goes against my habit, I’m trying. Even now with this blog, this ending, I’m trying to not demand perfection and productivity in every moment.

I’m trying to just–

Stop.

[quotes_and_tips

Have You Seen a Gay Man Pack? (Blog #375)

I have been adulting all day–paying bills, dealing with credit cards, sending official letters regarding medical bills and car accidents. I hate this stuff. However, I’ve also been teaching dance, which I love. But then I’ve also been doing laundry and packing to go out-of-town tomorrow, and I hate doing laundry and packing. Well, I guess I’m indifferent about it. But in the process of packing I realized I left my only pair of tennis shoes in Dallas a few days ago, and I hate that. Also, I have to get up early to go to the airport, so that’s another hate.

I’m ready to scream.

As a species, gay men don’t travel light.

Really, I’m just stressed. I thought I was going out-of-town for five days, returning for one, then leaving again for four more. But I found out today that the two trips I’m taking (to Memphis and Hot Springs) are literally back-to-back. I’m going from one place to the other, which means I have to fit ten days worth of clothes into a small carry-on bag. Y’all, I realize I’ve been living as a minimalist this last year, but–HELLO–I’m still GAY. Have you SEEN a gay man pack? As a species, we don’t travel light. Seriously, I could fill my carry-on with hair products alone. Currently my bag is filled to capacity, and I STILL have clothes in the dryer.

I’m going to have to pray about this.

About forty-five minutes ago I went to Walmart to look for a replacement pair of tennis shoes. This was a waste of time. Not that they didn’t have plenty of shoes to choose from, but none of them were the right brand. Again–I’m a stuck-up homosexual. I thought, I’m desperate, but I’m not THAT desperate. I’ll make do with my Polo boat shoes. Even if they hurt my feet, at least they’ll look nice. I realize this line of thinking is in direct opposition to yesterday’s post about the inside mattering more than outside. I make no apologies for this. As Walt Whitman said, “I contain multitudes.”

Surely I’ll find a way to make it work.

Now I’m trying to talk myself down from a ledge. I still have some packing to do and also need to take a shower. Oh, and sleep–I need to sleep. I’m telling myself that the upcoming trips are going to be great. Regardless of how much rest I get tonight or what clothes I end up taking, I’m sure I’ll have a fabulous time. Plus, if I need a new pair of shoes or anything else, I’ll find a Target or a shopping mall. I’m also worrying about how to do my job (travel writing) on the trip AND continue this blog, but I’ve obviously found a way to make this blog work so far, so surely I’ll find a way to make it work again. Like tonight’s blog, some of my posts may be shorter. (And that’s okay, Marcus.)

Also, some posts may conclude abruptly.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

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We follow the mystery, never knowing what’s next.

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