On Practicing Gratitude (Blog #562)

It’s eleven-fifteen in the morning, and I woke up with a crick in my neck. Consequently, I’m getting a slow start to what promises to be a long day. Every so often I’m stopping whatever I’m doing to stretch, trying to work out the kinks. I’m house sitting for some friends, and when I first got up, I stood in their hallway, reached my arms out wide on an angle, and rolled my neck around. As my arms fell to my sides, one of my friends’ dogs came over and pressed her wet nose against my fingers–as if to say, “I see you have a free hand there.” It was the sweetest thing, this moment of–connection.

Currently I’m listening to an album by Carter Sampson, a local red-dirt/folk artist from Fayetteville. I met Carter when I interviewed her for a magazine many, many years ago. She’s fabulous, and for whatever reason, her music is the perfect thing on this slow-start, crick-in-my-neck, overcast Saturday morning. It’s funny how the right lyrics show up at the right time. Last night I cried like a child while writing yesterday’s post. Today I feel lighter. I have the biggest smile on my face. As Carter says, “I washed myself in the water, and now I’m finally free.”

Yesterday while my friend was in traffic court and I was stuck in their car because their alarm system kept going off every time I took their key out of the ignition, I read another chapter in The Tools by Phil Stutz and Barry Michaels, a self-help book I mentioned a couple days ago. The chapter dealt with gratitude, which the authors present as the go-to tool or solution for what they call “the cloud,” that dark thing that surrounds you every time you begin to worry, obsess, or stress about whatever.

You know–THE CLOUD–There’s not enough money, nobody likes me, and I probably have cancer.

It’s enough just to be here.

Of course, gratitude is not a novel concept, but I love the way Stutz and Michaels present it–as that which CUTS THROUGH the cloud and reconnects you to something bigger than yourself. I like this idea–that being grateful isn’t just a “good-feeling” thing to do, but is also something powerful that quickly bypasses the dark cloud of worry. Because God knows WORRYING and OBSESSING about my problems has NEVER made my day any brighter. But even in this moment if I simply think about my nephews, I’m overcome with warmth and the feeling that life is all right. Because of them, it’s enough just to be here–overcast day, crick in my neck, and all. I’m reminded that I’m part of life, that life is good, and that life mysteriously works out.

The authors of The Tools say that gratitude is something you have to practice in order for it to have a powerful, lasting effect. In my experience, this is how worry works too. In other words, it’s a habit. And whereas being grateful does require diligence, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Just start with five things, five simple things that open your heart (even a little). For me–today–I’m grateful for a place to sleep at night, my friends’ dog and her wet nose, Carter Sampson and her music, my nephews, and my body, which not only lets me experience all the things I love, but also allows me to stretch, to cry, to smile.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

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If another's perspective, another's story about you is kinder than the one you're telling yourself, surely that's a story worth listening to.

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Dance Camp Gratitude (Blog #444)

Currently it’s ten at night, and I’m sitting with my friends Bonnie and Todd on their porch. Our friend Jessica is here, as are her children, Allison and Corban, and Corban’s girlfriend, Emilee. The seven of us have been together since two this afternoon for what we’ve been calling “dance camp,” a one-day swing dance intensive. (I was the teacher.) First we danced for a couple hours, then we ate ice cream, then we danced some more, then we ate dinner (KFC). Now we’re on the porch relaxing, digesting.

I can’t say what a lovely day this has been. I woke up worn out this morning–I guess I still am–but I’ve still had such a great time. I’m a teacher–I adore watching people learn–and everyone did a fabulous job this afternoon. We worked for over four hours, and it’s amazing to see how much someone can progress in a short amount of time. It absolutely made my heart soar.

And then fried chicken for dinner!

Tomorrow morning I’m getting up early to be tested for allergies. Because they prick you with dozens of potential allergens, I’m prepared for my back to look like a war zone. The point is, since I’m already worn out and getting up at the butt crack of dawn, I’m trying to keep this short. Easy enough. Other than dancing with my darling friends (and eating all the calories), not much has happened today. Well, wait, my recent bad mood has improved. Disappeared just like it showed up–out of nowhere. I’m guessing this is because I got out of the house (got out of my head) , socialized, moved, danced. Four over six hours I’ve been surrounded by smiling, happy people, and maybe their joy has rubbed off. Or would it be rubbed on? Regardless, I’m reminded that life isn’t always a bitch. On occasion it can be kind and generous, full of delights.

For this I am grateful.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

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You can’t change what happened, but you can change the story you tell yourself about it.

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