A Light at the End of the Tunnel (Blog #334)

This morning I saw my internist, who’s a saint as far as I’m concerned. First of all, she allayed my fears that anything was seriously wrong with me. She said that my chronic sinus infections and other such irritating problems were most likely due to a “glitch” in my immune system, that–like being gay–some people are just born this way. In order to confirm or deny her suspicions about my immune system, I gave up four vials of blood to be sent off for analyzation. Hopefully the results will pinpoint exactly what’s up.

To make up for the loss of blood, I ate three chocolate bars.

In other news, apparently my B12 levels, although technically “in range,” are low for someone my age. So my doctor’s nurse gave me a B12 shot, and this afternoon I bought liquid B12 to take sublingually. With any luck, this supplementation will positively affect my overall energy.

These were the “big items” for the day, but my doctor and I also discussed my (genetically) high cholesterol, for which she prescribed some dietary changes and a natural supplement (red yeast rice). She said, “Let’s try this for two or three months, then re-test. If it’s still high, THEN we’ll talk about statins.” For my sinus problems, she told me about a different saline-rinse product and actually endorsed using baby shampoo in my sinus rinses once or twice a week. (So not everything I’ve read on the internet and tried in the past is crap.) Lastly, she told me that the most likely reason I threw up in my mouth while sleeping a couple nights ago was because of the salsa on my nachos, not because of the actual nachos themselves. “Tomato products open up the esophageal sphincter,” she said, “so it’s best to limit your intake of them to before 4 PM.”

Who knew?

This afternoon I saw my therapist, and when we discussed my health challenges and what my doctor told me today, she said, “So it sounds like the problem is genetic, and that means IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. Everyone is dealt a different hand in life, and this is simply yours.”

Now how did she know I’ve been blaming myself for this?

I spent the rest of the day running errands and looking for the supplements my doctor mentioned. Really, despite the fact that I didn’t sleep much last night (most likely due to DAA or Doctor-Appointment Anticipation), it’s been a great day. My body has felt pretty good–really good, all things considered–and I’ve felt hopeful about getting my health issues sorted out soon-ish. Plus, I had coffee for the first time in two weeks (I gave it up when I got the flu), and that made me smile (and then made me jittery). But the bottom line is that between feeling a bit better and seeing both my doctor and my therapist in one day, I’ve been encouraged. At least for today, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Hopefully it’s not a train.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

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You can’t pick and choose what you receive from life, and you can’t always accurately label something as bad.

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A Rough Night (Blog #333)

Before I went to bed last night I ate a plate of nachos. I can’t imagine they were good for my cholesterol, but they were good for my taste buds, so that’s something. Then I lay down, watched an episode of Breaking Bad, and absolutely passed out. At some point during the night–I really don’t know when–I was rudely awakened by my own vomit. Quite literally, I awoke to find myself heaving. Fortunately, there wasn’t a lot coming up, and my lips closed in time to keep everything in. But it tasted awful. Anyway, I stumbled to the bathroom, drank some water, went back to bed and had terrible dreams, and woke up with a headache.

I’m never having nachos again.

Today I’ve been worried that last night’s adventure in the land of acid reflux will repeat itself when I go to bed later. Earlier I ate a bowl of soup and have been thinking, I don’t want to taste that again. So I’m determined to not eat anything while I blog in order to give everything a chance to settle down. I realize last night’s upset was quite possibly a one-off, but considering all the health problems I’ve been having lately, I’m paranoid that I’ll soon have one more thing to worry about. I’m concerned that I’m truly falling apart.

Might as well just put me in a wheelchair and get it over with.

Other than my general sense of worry, today has gone well. My mechanic tuned up my car, Tom Collins, so he should be good to go for a while. This afternoon I worked on marketing stuff for the swing dance event I’m working with, and that made me feel like I’m contributing to the world. Additionally, I saw my parents. I went to the bank. Tonight I talked to my sister, who’s a great listener and encourager. Talking to her always makes me feel better.

Now I’m doing laundry, since I’m seeing my internist tomorrow and want to be wearing clean pants for the occasion. (Considerate, I know.) The appointment is early, and I have an improv comedy rehearsal tomorrow night, so it promises to be a long day. For that reason, I’m going to try to wind down. Hopefully I’ll be able to get some rest and not throw up on myself.

There’s a sentence I’d never thought I’d say.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

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Life is better when we're not in control. When we mentally leave room for anything to happen, anything can.

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