Have You Seen a Gay Man Pack? (Blog #375)

I have been adulting all day–paying bills, dealing with credit cards, sending official letters regarding medical bills and car accidents. I hate this stuff. However, I’ve also been teaching dance, which I love. But then I’ve also been doing laundry and packing to go out-of-town tomorrow, and I hate doing laundry and packing. Well, I guess I’m indifferent about it. But in the process of packing I realized I left my only pair of tennis shoes in Dallas a few days ago, and I hate that. Also, I have to get up early to go to the airport, so that’s another hate.

I’m ready to scream.

As a species, gay men don’t travel light.

Really, I’m just stressed. I thought I was going out-of-town for five days, returning for one, then leaving again for four more. But I found out today that the two trips I’m taking (to Memphis and Hot Springs) are literally back-to-back. I’m going from one place to the other, which means I have to fit ten days worth of clothes into a small carry-on bag. Y’all, I realize I’ve been living as a minimalist this last year, but–HELLO–I’m still GAY. Have you SEEN a gay man pack? As a species, we don’t travel light. Seriously, I could fill my carry-on with hair products alone. Currently my bag is filled to capacity, and I STILL have clothes in the dryer.

I’m going to have to pray about this.

About forty-five minutes ago I went to Walmart to look for a replacement pair of tennis shoes. This was a waste of time. Not that they didn’t have plenty of shoes to choose from, but none of them were the right brand. Again–I’m a stuck-up homosexual. I thought, I’m desperate, but I’m not THAT desperate. I’ll make do with my Polo boat shoes. Even if they hurt my feet, at least they’ll look nice. I realize this line of thinking is in direct opposition to yesterday’s post about the inside mattering more than outside. I make no apologies for this. As Walt Whitman said, “I contain multitudes.”

Surely I’ll find a way to make it work.

Now I’m trying to talk myself down from a ledge. I still have some packing to do and also need to take a shower. Oh, and sleep–I need to sleep. I’m telling myself that the upcoming trips are going to be great. Regardless of how much rest I get tonight or what clothes I end up taking, I’m sure I’ll have a fabulous time. Plus, if I need a new pair of shoes or anything else, I’ll find a Target or a shopping mall. I’m also worrying about how to do my job (travel writing) on the trip AND continue this blog, but I’ve obviously found a way to make this blog work so far, so surely I’ll find a way to make it work again. Like tonight’s blog, some of my posts may be shorter. (And that’s okay, Marcus.)

Also, some posts may conclude abruptly.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

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We don’t get to boss life around.

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When It Comes to Luggage and Bodies (Blog #374)

Today I am worn out. I feel tired behind my eyes. Additionally, my skin is acting up, and the muscles in my neck are tight, tight, tight. I’ve said these things before, but I say them again because I’m about to go out-of-town for several days on a writing gig and am worried about how my body will handle the busy schedule. So I’m giving it a pep talk even as we speak. Hang in there.

Not the most original pep talk, I know.

The occasion, the writing gig, is a travel-writing trip to Memphis. Y’all, this is my first-ever travel-writing trip, but it promises to be a pretty sweet deal. Basically I’ll get flown to Memphis, put up in a hotel, fed twice or more a day, and bused around to local restaurants and attractions along with several other journalists, the understanding that we’ll all go home and write about the city and the things we saw for our respective media outlets. (I’m officially writing for a local magazine I used to work for and not my blog, but I’m sure I’ll talk about my adventures here as well). Actually, I have two travel-writing trips planned back-to-back, so I’ll be running around the region for the next week and a half. This will be the most travel and work I’ve required of myself since my immune issues flared up six months ago, which–again–is why I’m worried.

Hang in there.

In preparation for the trip, today I spent three hours shopping for carry-on luggage. One bag, specifically. Y’all, what a chore, finding something that was the right price, the right size, the right color, had the right number of pockets, and also looked cute. I went to five stores before finally narrowing it down to two at Academy Sports–a bright red and black hard case and a navy canvas with small, red accents. I really, really wanted the hard case. Not only was it cheaper, but it was perfect on the outside. HOWEVER, I went with the canvas bag (by Coleman), since it was good enough on the outside and perfect on the inside (deeper storage and a compartment for wet clothes). So once again, remember–when it comes to luggage and bodies, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

Last night I dreamed that my car was being repaired at a garage. The hood was up, and I was working on the engine. I guess I was a mechanic, but I didn’t know exactly what to do. Then another mechanic appeared (as if by magic), and we worked on the engine together.

You’re exactly where you need to be.

Y’all, of all the dreams I’ve had the last few years, this one excites me the most, since cars in dreams almost always represent the physical body. The engine, I think, represents my immune system, the thing that makes my body run smoothly. Me and the mechanic, then, would be me and my doctors, indicating that I’ve finally landed in a place where things can be fixed (in the dream, the garage). Alternatively, the dream could simply be about the direction my life is going and the fact that I’m currently working on the stuff under my hood (my insides), the stuff you can’t see but that really runs the show. Either way, I’m hoping the message is the same–Hang in there. You’re exactly where you need to be. Don’t worry. You’ll be back on the road in no time.

Quotes from CoCo (Marcus)

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You can't build a house, much less a life, from the outside-in. Rather, if you want something that's going to last, you have to start on the inside and work your way out, no matter how long it takes and how difficult it is.

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